Well, that was fun.

I am way too tired to make this blog reasonable, so I am editing my IM session with my BFF and pretending it's a real blog entry.

So I've had this constant pain in my right side for 6-8 months. I'm only not sure of the time because I spent so long trying to ignore it. But after some heinous periods and the pain getting worse I decided to do something about it. CT scans of my GI tract were clear so I moved on to gynecological issues. I'm a virgin, so I have only has one pap smear before this, and that was only a fee months back.

As much as I wanted today to magically produce an answer to the pain, I knew was was 99% unlikely. But I hoped I guess that my evil right ovary would get caught in the act assaulting my body and we could just move on from there.

Anyhow, I went to the office, filled out paperwork, saw two nurses, one who took my blood pressure and one who went over my medical history. We managed to remember to tell them NO LATEX (there's a funny/painful/itchy story behind that) He came in and was very smart and capable but also spoke very rapidly. Also, he was my mom's GYN so I felt a little awkward.

After the "pleasantries" were out of the way, I got uh, a digital exam, while he poked my abdomen. Then he used a thin, LONG speculum and peeked up inside. (it was cold)
and apparently I have a long vagina. (No, I am not kidding, he actually said this)

So, then, after that, which quite frankly I thought was bad enough, I get a two digit exam. 1 in both ends. That was distinctly uncomfortable and actually hurt a bit. In fact, PORNO LIES cause all I had was two fingers and I thought it was too tight. That's probably tmi, but to be honest, that was my least favorite part of all of this.


Anyhow, after that was done we discussed many possibilities, not the least of which were the possibilities of endometreosis or ovarian cysts. He ordered an ultrasound, which I get on Friday and fasting labs. Even though I said the pain is in two spots I think he got stuck on the higher one, cause he kept saying "That's a little high for an ovary." Honestly, I was very tired and overwhelmed so I didn't bother re-pointing out what I said, because I figure the ultrasound should show more than I can.

He also ordered the CT scans I got from my other Dr just in case they show anything pelvic, even though they were for the GI tract. Hey, the more the merrier I guess. He also said he only orders ultrasounds or MRI's instead of CT and that made me feel better because I recently discovered I am at my lifetime dose of radiation for my age due to 2 CTs of my head, 1 of my knee/ankle and 1 of my abdomen. This doesn't even include X-rays I have had for my spine, teeth, or chest x-rays. I have already decided that in the future, unless there is no other diagnostic test available, I will be opting out of CT's. But that is neither here nor there.

We discussed a hysterectomy. I know that is a big word for a 31 year old virgin with no kids to throw around, but it's unlikely I can or should conceive on my own. The biggest hurdle ironically NOT being my reproductive organs, but the fact I am Bi-Polar II. BP2 is the depressed side of BPD and I would HAVE to drop my two most effective medications while I was pregnant. That alone would make the pregnancy high risk, but also, due to family history, I'd be at risk for post-partum psychosis. It's like a lost the genetic lottery and I didn't even know I had entered. *sigh*

Anyhow, he's hoping we discover what's causing the pain before we make any drastic choices, although he seemed supportive of my choice to get a hysterectomy due to family history of cysts and only recently, uterine cancer. If the ultrasound doesn't turn up anything, then it's up to the laparoscopy. Then, if that finds endo or cysts, which could be causing the unending pain, then I am up for a hysterectomy. This is like a cross between good/terrifying news. On the one hand, I'd give anything to know/eliminate the pain. On the other hand, having to yank out my girl bits seems very very stark and drastic, even if could end my migraines and mood swings.

And in other news, the man I dated on and off for the last 2 years is now engaged. Honestly? I am thrilled because I know he's madly in love and that makes me happy, but I wish I could have found out tomorrow or a week from now. Today just wasn't the day you know?