Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Beads bead everywhere and not a box to spare
There is nothing I dislike more as far as necessary chores go, than sorting beads. Imagine having to sort grains of rice, or small noodles. Then imagine that some of these grains of rice cost anywhere from .45¢-$4.50 a piece.
The thing about being creative/crafty is that you have to work with the space you have and in my case, the space I have also serves as my bedroom and office. So in the space of a back bedroom I have a floor to ceiling bookcase, bed, night stand, bead desk, filing cabinet, TV stand (converted from an old nightstand) computer desk, small roller bin, door and dresser. This is clockwise from the bookcase. Because this was my sister's room before she got married, there are NO DOORS on my closet, because the beautiful wood shutter style doors got broken when she tripped. (Or that was the story)
The other things about all of this being in one space is that our house is out in the country. Yes, we live in a neighborhood, but less than 2 minutes in any directions and you will see orchards, farms and stables. This is great because Fresno is a vital agriculture community. It also sucks because there is a fine, whitish grey dust that settles on EVREYTHING.
Now, I enjoy dusting believe it or not, but the difficulty here is that my room is also a heat sink/cold vortex. In the summer, regardless of running the AC on days over 90, my room will remain 10-15 degrees warmer than the rest of the house. Vice a versa, in the winter my room can be up to 20 degrees colder. What does this have to do with dust? Well, in the summer I keep my fan on high. This leads to the excruciatingly precise and constant distribution of dust everywhere. By the same token, I have a heater in my fan I run during the winter. Same idea. Even coating of dust on everything in the room. From the fan blades, shelves, lamps and desks to the tops of all of my clothing (no doors) and even on vertical surfaces like walls.
Back to beading... If I accidentally leave a lid popped open, or have a project laid out that I can't get back to for some reason, the dust settles into every nook and cranny of my bead desk. As I blog this, my desk is pied high with things I pulled off of the floor, my dresser, desk, living room table and out of one of the bins I needed to sort.
The thing about being creative/crafty is that you have to work with the space you have and in my case, the space I have also serves as my bedroom and office. So in the space of a back bedroom I have a floor to ceiling bookcase, bed, night stand, bead desk, filing cabinet, TV stand (converted from an old nightstand) computer desk, small roller bin, door and dresser. This is clockwise from the bookcase. Because this was my sister's room before she got married, there are NO DOORS on my closet, because the beautiful wood shutter style doors got broken when she tripped. (Or that was the story)
The other things about all of this being in one space is that our house is out in the country. Yes, we live in a neighborhood, but less than 2 minutes in any directions and you will see orchards, farms and stables. This is great because Fresno is a vital agriculture community. It also sucks because there is a fine, whitish grey dust that settles on EVREYTHING.
Now, I enjoy dusting believe it or not, but the difficulty here is that my room is also a heat sink/cold vortex. In the summer, regardless of running the AC on days over 90, my room will remain 10-15 degrees warmer than the rest of the house. Vice a versa, in the winter my room can be up to 20 degrees colder. What does this have to do with dust? Well, in the summer I keep my fan on high. This leads to the excruciatingly precise and constant distribution of dust everywhere. By the same token, I have a heater in my fan I run during the winter. Same idea. Even coating of dust on everything in the room. From the fan blades, shelves, lamps and desks to the tops of all of my clothing (no doors) and even on vertical surfaces like walls.
Back to beading... If I accidentally leave a lid popped open, or have a project laid out that I can't get back to for some reason, the dust settles into every nook and cranny of my bead desk. As I blog this, my desk is pied high with things I pulled off of the floor, my dresser, desk, living room table and out of one of the bins I needed to sort.
Friday, June 18, 2010
Ultra sonic fun times
If I didn't have the ability to be sarcastic, I'd probably go insane.
On Wednesday I had the first meeting with my GYN, as previously blogged about and got scheduled for fasting labs and the ultrasound. Last night I had dinner at 8 and desert around 9:30pm so I figured I'd be good for getting the labs drawn before my ultrasound.
As it turned out, mom was going with me and had to run and errand so we got to the ultrasound appointment on time, but had to postpone the labs until after wards. I got right in and at first only had to peel my pants down to my hips. After gelling me up the tech probably spent about 10 minutes peeking at what she could. Ended up taking a peek at my right kidney and my gallbladder. Said both looked healthy and normal, neither had stones. This was good news to me, since several people suggested the pain could be gall bladder related and as much as I want an answer to the pain, each thing we eliminate is *good* news, not bad.
Anyhow, she couldn't really get a good peek at my uterus so GUESS WHAT? Yeah, that. I had to drop trou and drape. Then I got to experience the gel again and it was a lot LESS cold on my tummy than it was down there. I mean, the cold metal speculum was a curling iron compared to the ultrasound gel.
It took about 30 minutes and I got to see what basically looked like... uh... static on the tv? Mom and the tech obviously knew what they were looking at and the tech didn't seem to see anything to be concerned about. I had a feeling it would turn out this way, but I was a little surprised that my right ovary wasn't like, sharpening it's fangs with a nail file or something.
Anyhow, after that I went next door and got my labs done. I don't know about any of you reading this, but I hate "clean catch" urine samples more than anything. "Wipe, void, catch, void." That's how it SHOULD go, but I have a nervous bladder that even if I am ready to explode, has a hard time peeing on "cue" i.e. start stop start stop start finish. Needless to say, I always make sure my pants are folded and placed near the sink. Just in case.
On to the blood draw. I always ask for them to take from the veins in my hand and normally I don't get more than a small mark but for some reason I have this dime sized bruise from where the needle went in. They took 3 vials and from what I saw on the orders they were drawing for lipids, platelet count, follicle stimulating hormone, thyroid stimulating hormone and a few other things I was too distracted to memorize.
We finally got out of the lab around 2:15 and mom decided to go to the Clovis library. Even though I was hungry, I would never ever turn down a chance to go into a library. I waked out with 13 books and 6 CDs. Then we went to the bead store and spent a few hours there, finally ending the day by stopping at a great Chinese restaurant.
I get to call next week, probably around Wed or Thur and ask if they got all of the tests and results and where we go from there. So I am going to try not to worry or over analyze anything until I hear from the Dr.
On Wednesday I had the first meeting with my GYN, as previously blogged about and got scheduled for fasting labs and the ultrasound. Last night I had dinner at 8 and desert around 9:30pm so I figured I'd be good for getting the labs drawn before my ultrasound.
As it turned out, mom was going with me and had to run and errand so we got to the ultrasound appointment on time, but had to postpone the labs until after wards. I got right in and at first only had to peel my pants down to my hips. After gelling me up the tech probably spent about 10 minutes peeking at what she could. Ended up taking a peek at my right kidney and my gallbladder. Said both looked healthy and normal, neither had stones. This was good news to me, since several people suggested the pain could be gall bladder related and as much as I want an answer to the pain, each thing we eliminate is *good* news, not bad.
Anyhow, she couldn't really get a good peek at my uterus so GUESS WHAT? Yeah, that. I had to drop trou and drape. Then I got to experience the gel again and it was a lot LESS cold on my tummy than it was down there. I mean, the cold metal speculum was a curling iron compared to the ultrasound gel.
It took about 30 minutes and I got to see what basically looked like... uh... static on the tv? Mom and the tech obviously knew what they were looking at and the tech didn't seem to see anything to be concerned about. I had a feeling it would turn out this way, but I was a little surprised that my right ovary wasn't like, sharpening it's fangs with a nail file or something.
Anyhow, after that I went next door and got my labs done. I don't know about any of you reading this, but I hate "clean catch" urine samples more than anything. "Wipe, void, catch, void." That's how it SHOULD go, but I have a nervous bladder that even if I am ready to explode, has a hard time peeing on "cue" i.e. start stop start stop start finish. Needless to say, I always make sure my pants are folded and placed near the sink. Just in case.
On to the blood draw. I always ask for them to take from the veins in my hand and normally I don't get more than a small mark but for some reason I have this dime sized bruise from where the needle went in. They took 3 vials and from what I saw on the orders they were drawing for lipids, platelet count, follicle stimulating hormone, thyroid stimulating hormone and a few other things I was too distracted to memorize.
We finally got out of the lab around 2:15 and mom decided to go to the Clovis library. Even though I was hungry, I would never ever turn down a chance to go into a library. I waked out with 13 books and 6 CDs. Then we went to the bead store and spent a few hours there, finally ending the day by stopping at a great Chinese restaurant.
I get to call next week, probably around Wed or Thur and ask if they got all of the tests and results and where we go from there. So I am going to try not to worry or over analyze anything until I hear from the Dr.
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Well, that was fun.
I am way too tired to make this blog reasonable, so I am editing my IM session with my BFF and pretending it's a real blog entry.
So I've had this constant pain in my right side for 6-8 months. I'm only not sure of the time because I spent so long trying to ignore it. But after some heinous periods and the pain getting worse I decided to do something about it. CT scans of my GI tract were clear so I moved on to gynecological issues. I'm a virgin, so I have only has one pap smear before this, and that was only a fee months back.
As much as I wanted today to magically produce an answer to the pain, I knew was was 99% unlikely. But I hoped I guess that my evil right ovary would get caught in the act assaulting my body and we could just move on from there.
Anyhow, I went to the office, filled out paperwork, saw two nurses, one who took my blood pressure and one who went over my medical history. We managed to remember to tell them NO LATEX (there's a funny/painful/itchy story behind that) He came in and was very smart and capable but also spoke very rapidly. Also, he was my mom's GYN so I felt a little awkward.
After the "pleasantries" were out of the way, I got uh, a digital exam, while he poked my abdomen. Then he used a thin, LONG speculum and peeked up inside. (it was cold)
and apparently I have a long vagina. (No, I am not kidding, he actually said this)
So, then, after that, which quite frankly I thought was bad enough, I get a two digit exam. 1 in both ends. That was distinctly uncomfortable and actually hurt a bit. In fact, PORNO LIES cause all I had was two fingers and I thought it was too tight. That's probably tmi, but to be honest, that was my least favorite part of all of this.
Anyhow, after that was done we discussed many possibilities, not the least of which were the possibilities of endometreosis or ovarian cysts. He ordered an ultrasound, which I get on Friday and fasting labs. Even though I said the pain is in two spots I think he got stuck on the higher one, cause he kept saying "That's a little high for an ovary." Honestly, I was very tired and overwhelmed so I didn't bother re-pointing out what I said, because I figure the ultrasound should show more than I can.
He also ordered the CT scans I got from my other Dr just in case they show anything pelvic, even though they were for the GI tract. Hey, the more the merrier I guess. He also said he only orders ultrasounds or MRI's instead of CT and that made me feel better because I recently discovered I am at my lifetime dose of radiation for my age due to 2 CTs of my head, 1 of my knee/ankle and 1 of my abdomen. This doesn't even include X-rays I have had for my spine, teeth, or chest x-rays. I have already decided that in the future, unless there is no other diagnostic test available, I will be opting out of CT's. But that is neither here nor there.
We discussed a hysterectomy. I know that is a big word for a 31 year old virgin with no kids to throw around, but it's unlikely I can or should conceive on my own. The biggest hurdle ironically NOT being my reproductive organs, but the fact I am Bi-Polar II. BP2 is the depressed side of BPD and I would HAVE to drop my two most effective medications while I was pregnant. That alone would make the pregnancy high risk, but also, due to family history, I'd be at risk for post-partum psychosis. It's like a lost the genetic lottery and I didn't even know I had entered. *sigh*
Anyhow, he's hoping we discover what's causing the pain before we make any drastic choices, although he seemed supportive of my choice to get a hysterectomy due to family history of cysts and only recently, uterine cancer. If the ultrasound doesn't turn up anything, then it's up to the laparoscopy. Then, if that finds endo or cysts, which could be causing the unending pain, then I am up for a hysterectomy. This is like a cross between good/terrifying news. On the one hand, I'd give anything to know/eliminate the pain. On the other hand, having to yank out my girl bits seems very very stark and drastic, even if could end my migraines and mood swings.
And in other news, the man I dated on and off for the last 2 years is now engaged. Honestly? I am thrilled because I know he's madly in love and that makes me happy, but I wish I could have found out tomorrow or a week from now. Today just wasn't the day you know?
So I've had this constant pain in my right side for 6-8 months. I'm only not sure of the time because I spent so long trying to ignore it. But after some heinous periods and the pain getting worse I decided to do something about it. CT scans of my GI tract were clear so I moved on to gynecological issues. I'm a virgin, so I have only has one pap smear before this, and that was only a fee months back.
As much as I wanted today to magically produce an answer to the pain, I knew was was 99% unlikely. But I hoped I guess that my evil right ovary would get caught in the act assaulting my body and we could just move on from there.
Anyhow, I went to the office, filled out paperwork, saw two nurses, one who took my blood pressure and one who went over my medical history. We managed to remember to tell them NO LATEX (there's a funny/painful/itchy story behind that) He came in and was very smart and capable but also spoke very rapidly. Also, he was my mom's GYN so I felt a little awkward.
After the "pleasantries" were out of the way, I got uh, a digital exam, while he poked my abdomen. Then he used a thin, LONG speculum and peeked up inside. (it was cold)
and apparently I have a long vagina. (No, I am not kidding, he actually said this)
So, then, after that, which quite frankly I thought was bad enough, I get a two digit exam. 1 in both ends. That was distinctly uncomfortable and actually hurt a bit. In fact, PORNO LIES cause all I had was two fingers and I thought it was too tight. That's probably tmi, but to be honest, that was my least favorite part of all of this.
Anyhow, after that was done we discussed many possibilities, not the least of which were the possibilities of endometreosis or ovarian cysts. He ordered an ultrasound, which I get on Friday and fasting labs. Even though I said the pain is in two spots I think he got stuck on the higher one, cause he kept saying "That's a little high for an ovary." Honestly, I was very tired and overwhelmed so I didn't bother re-pointing out what I said, because I figure the ultrasound should show more than I can.
He also ordered the CT scans I got from my other Dr just in case they show anything pelvic, even though they were for the GI tract. Hey, the more the merrier I guess. He also said he only orders ultrasounds or MRI's instead of CT and that made me feel better because I recently discovered I am at my lifetime dose of radiation for my age due to 2 CTs of my head, 1 of my knee/ankle and 1 of my abdomen. This doesn't even include X-rays I have had for my spine, teeth, or chest x-rays. I have already decided that in the future, unless there is no other diagnostic test available, I will be opting out of CT's. But that is neither here nor there.
We discussed a hysterectomy. I know that is a big word for a 31 year old virgin with no kids to throw around, but it's unlikely I can or should conceive on my own. The biggest hurdle ironically NOT being my reproductive organs, but the fact I am Bi-Polar II. BP2 is the depressed side of BPD and I would HAVE to drop my two most effective medications while I was pregnant. That alone would make the pregnancy high risk, but also, due to family history, I'd be at risk for post-partum psychosis. It's like a lost the genetic lottery and I didn't even know I had entered. *sigh*
Anyhow, he's hoping we discover what's causing the pain before we make any drastic choices, although he seemed supportive of my choice to get a hysterectomy due to family history of cysts and only recently, uterine cancer. If the ultrasound doesn't turn up anything, then it's up to the laparoscopy. Then, if that finds endo or cysts, which could be causing the unending pain, then I am up for a hysterectomy. This is like a cross between good/terrifying news. On the one hand, I'd give anything to know/eliminate the pain. On the other hand, having to yank out my girl bits seems very very stark and drastic, even if could end my migraines and mood swings.
And in other news, the man I dated on and off for the last 2 years is now engaged. Honestly? I am thrilled because I know he's madly in love and that makes me happy, but I wish I could have found out tomorrow or a week from now. Today just wasn't the day you know?
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Friday, June 11, 2010
Laughing at God
I have a friend who, over the last several years, has only wanted one thing. It's not my right to say what it is, so I won't, but I know if she got this thing, she'd be amazing at it.
Anyhow, through the last few years with her I have learned a lot of things about medicine, nutrition, and life in general. Some of it may or may not actually apply to me now.
Yeah, that was vague, but intentionally so. I am frustrated beyond my ability to express it. Last November a close relative died and my family was responsible for cleaning out his apartment and storage shed and making funeral arrangements. It was very difficult for all of us. Then, shortly after Christmas, my grandmother was diagnosed with uterine cancer. Her gyn said it was easily removed via surgery and my grandma wouldn't even need chemo if it was contained as she thought it was. Luckily, it was. On my 31st birthday I went with her and my mother to her pre--surgery appointment and she was in and out of the hospital the next day.
Still, this got me thinking. My mother had a hysterectomy in her late 30's due to a level 3 pap and numerous cysts/polyps. You name the reproductive organ, she had some abnormal growth on it.
Where do I come in? For the last 6 months or so I have had this regular, annoying pain in my right side. At first I thought maybe it was constipation. (What?) I take a medication for ADD and it causes instantaneous constipation. Believe me when I say I drink a LOT of water and have a jar of Benefiber on my kitchen table, ready to be stirred into coffee, tea, juice, water or anything for that matter.
Anyhow, the pain. I ignored it for several months thinking it was nothing. Even when it hurt very badly I just assumed it was me being whiny. I *am* overweight and I do, do a lot of sitting at the computer all day, so I used to call the pain "A kink in my side" assuming that it was due to lack of exercise or something.
Three weeks ago I stopped ignoring it and saw my RNP. She palpated my midsection and then ordered CT's with barium. For the record, even with the "berry" flavor and drinking it ice cold, it has this tangy, stinging feeling. Anyhow, my GI tract is fine, the CT's showed nothing.
Great right? No, I cried. I was hoping it was something, anything. Even a weensy easy to fix something. Nada.
Now I am wondering if it's gynecological? Is it a mutant ovary, lurking and bulking up, sharpening it's teeth, ready to attack my uterus? The reason I want to know is that this period (which was 3 days early) was the worst in my life. I had 3 migraines, cramps that made me nauseous and cry, and the pain in my right side got so bad I wanted to die. It was like a knife that happened to be dipped in thumbtacks. I bled for a day and a half and bled so heavily I used 5-6 maximum absorbency pads. This by the way is freakishly abnormal. I bleed pretty heavily but this was ridiculous. Then the next day I did not bleed at all. Not a drop. But I cramped all day and was in agony and sick to my stomach. The next day the cramps were worse but I bled. For like, 45 minutes, MAX. I wore a pad and pretty much had nothing to report. Yesterday I didn't bleed at all, and so far today (Friday the 11th) I have not bled but the pain in my side is making me breathless again.
I won't go nuts on WebMD and to be honest, I will wait until I know anything for sure, but I am calling the GYN tomorrow for an emergency appointment and will also be calling my RNP just to let her know that the pain is worsening and about my super abnormal period.
The last thing I want to point out is that out of all of the symptoms I may or may not have, I have noticed I have gotten acne like a 15 yo (I normally have very clear skin) I have gained weight but not changed my diet for the worse for better and I also still have hair in weird places. (THAT might just be me getting OLD)
So while I am not like, spazzing (yet) I am looking at several possible gynecological issues I could be having. Especially since ovarian and uterine cysts run in my family.
Anyhow, through the last few years with her I have learned a lot of things about medicine, nutrition, and life in general. Some of it may or may not actually apply to me now.
Yeah, that was vague, but intentionally so. I am frustrated beyond my ability to express it. Last November a close relative died and my family was responsible for cleaning out his apartment and storage shed and making funeral arrangements. It was very difficult for all of us. Then, shortly after Christmas, my grandmother was diagnosed with uterine cancer. Her gyn said it was easily removed via surgery and my grandma wouldn't even need chemo if it was contained as she thought it was. Luckily, it was. On my 31st birthday I went with her and my mother to her pre--surgery appointment and she was in and out of the hospital the next day.
Still, this got me thinking. My mother had a hysterectomy in her late 30's due to a level 3 pap and numerous cysts/polyps. You name the reproductive organ, she had some abnormal growth on it.
Where do I come in? For the last 6 months or so I have had this regular, annoying pain in my right side. At first I thought maybe it was constipation. (What?) I take a medication for ADD and it causes instantaneous constipation. Believe me when I say I drink a LOT of water and have a jar of Benefiber on my kitchen table, ready to be stirred into coffee, tea, juice, water or anything for that matter.
Anyhow, the pain. I ignored it for several months thinking it was nothing. Even when it hurt very badly I just assumed it was me being whiny. I *am* overweight and I do, do a lot of sitting at the computer all day, so I used to call the pain "A kink in my side" assuming that it was due to lack of exercise or something.
Three weeks ago I stopped ignoring it and saw my RNP. She palpated my midsection and then ordered CT's with barium. For the record, even with the "berry" flavor and drinking it ice cold, it has this tangy, stinging feeling. Anyhow, my GI tract is fine, the CT's showed nothing.
Great right? No, I cried. I was hoping it was something, anything. Even a weensy easy to fix something. Nada.
Now I am wondering if it's gynecological? Is it a mutant ovary, lurking and bulking up, sharpening it's teeth, ready to attack my uterus? The reason I want to know is that this period (which was 3 days early) was the worst in my life. I had 3 migraines, cramps that made me nauseous and cry, and the pain in my right side got so bad I wanted to die. It was like a knife that happened to be dipped in thumbtacks. I bled for a day and a half and bled so heavily I used 5-6 maximum absorbency pads. This by the way is freakishly abnormal. I bleed pretty heavily but this was ridiculous. Then the next day I did not bleed at all. Not a drop. But I cramped all day and was in agony and sick to my stomach. The next day the cramps were worse but I bled. For like, 45 minutes, MAX. I wore a pad and pretty much had nothing to report. Yesterday I didn't bleed at all, and so far today (Friday the 11th) I have not bled but the pain in my side is making me breathless again.
I won't go nuts on WebMD and to be honest, I will wait until I know anything for sure, but I am calling the GYN tomorrow for an emergency appointment and will also be calling my RNP just to let her know that the pain is worsening and about my super abnormal period.
The last thing I want to point out is that out of all of the symptoms I may or may not have, I have noticed I have gotten acne like a 15 yo (I normally have very clear skin) I have gained weight but not changed my diet for the worse for better and I also still have hair in weird places. (THAT might just be me getting OLD)
So while I am not like, spazzing (yet) I am looking at several possible gynecological issues I could be having. Especially since ovarian and uterine cysts run in my family.
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