Impact Resistant My Rear

So, on the 22nd of last year I was going to go spend the day with my friend and his family, decorating the tree, eating pizza and watching Christmas episodes of Sci-fi shows. It's a tradition for them and I have gladly accepted the invitation to help for almost as long as I have known him. I intended to visit my grandmother's house and make cookies and popcorn balls and then head other to E's house. Well, something came up and I unexpectedly ended up staying the night at grandma's, complete with my friend L and no pajamas, toothbrush or medicine.

I woke up at 2am tossing cookies like an elf on a Mardi Gras float. I was so sick I didn't stop vomiting until MUCH later that day and had to be rescued by my parents as I was too ill too drive.

Christmas Eve was a wash and since my niece and nephew were on their mandated custodial visit to their father, the house was pretty dead. On Christmas we all woke up late and ate re-heated stollen, which normally is one of my favorite holiday foods, but some tool baked it like three times so it was basically stollen croutons.

When it became clear nobody gave a rat's ass about Christmas dinner I crawled into the car and got dim sum. (No, I am not kidding) Then we all watched the Doctor Who Christmas special.

This year was supposed to be different for a variety of reasons, not the least of which was that the children would be here. We didn't even get the tree (I don't even know who bought it) into the house until the 21st, after it had hung out on the front porch collecting leaves for a week. There were no candles, wreathes, swags, tablecloths or even our holiday mugs out to greet us. Plus, the house looks like shit. Sorry if I offended your delicate sensibilities, but if you're reading my blog, you probably don't have any.

Anyhow, so I am not in the Christmas spirit when I go to my friend E's house to decorate his tree. Luckily, everyone else WAS, so I had a great time. When I got home I had a throat tickle I attributed to allergies so I took some benadryl and went to bed.

Six A.M. and I are mortal enemies, so being awoken, even because something great is going to happen, is really like being told you are going to die, but will win the lottery shortly before hand. My sister woke me up to remind me we were leaving to go to Monterey and all I could think of was unprintable. No, not really, I was so tired I just kept clinging to my pillow and moaning. Not a good omen, the moaning was because of pain. Finally due to sad puppy faces from my niece I crawled out of bed and showered, picking the most inexplicable outfit I have ever worn. I hope no one took pictures, because I looked idiotic.

We left No-Town around 8:30 am and I slept in the car