You never know what's in my jeans... but you'll always be surprised!

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

I promise, my uterus won't kill you.

WARNING: This is long.


In the last couple of blogs I have written about the pain I have been having in my right side and the Dr's visits I had to try and determine what could be causing it.



The CT I had of my GI tract showed nothing, the ultrasound of my uterus, right ovary, kidney and gall bladder showed nothing other than healthy tissue and the option to do an exploratory surgery to find out if I had endometriosis seemed like somewhat of a bleak ordeal if I went through it and there was nothing wrong.

Even though it seems like I am jumping the gun, since I am single, I had already decided several years ago not to have children, mainly due to the fact I would have to discontinue all of my effective bi-polar medications. The idea of being pregnant and batcrap insane just doesn't appeal to me on ANY level.

My doctor and I discussed several options for controlling my periods and hopefully reigning in my head splitting migraines. I was actually surprised to discover that due to having migraines with prodromes and auras, I am at risk for strokes. (Yay?) Risk for stroke associated with migraines means... no birth control... ever. So any birth control product I may have been prescribed to manage the hormones that trigger migraines aren't an option because of my migraines. Isn't irony a pain?

Because of my inability to take birth control my doctor discussed several other options, all of them surgical. The word hysterectomy did come up and he said that as long as I was resolute he would be willing to perform one, even though I am relatively young. The reason I didn't say yes to that yet is that I am living with my parents who also have my younger sister and her two children staying with us indefinitely. The idea of a MAJOR surgery like that with little or no recovery time gave me hives. No, not really, but I'm sure you can see where that became a non option.

The most likely option was an endometrial ablation. The procedure essentially destroys and subsequently removes the lining of a woman's uterus and in most cases eliminate or severely lessen period bleeding. But, and this is a big, fat, hairy but... IT ALSO PUTS AN END TO FERTILITY. Not that my ovaries will stop partying hard once a month, but with no uterine lining, ostensibly, when and if I chose to get married and be in a sexual relationship, having a baby is now a non option.

Needless to say I didn't just waltz into this decision halfheartedly. It took me several visits before I decided that I would have the operation. However, when I did make up my mind I had them schedule the surgery before I left the office at my last appointment. The booked me for Sept 22 and I had a few weeks to wonder what the hell I was in for.

Now onto the surgery. I am beginning to hate the word "outpatient." I think I was under the assumption that outpatient means like, in and out, no biggie. I was wrong. In this case they had me come in the day before to have blood work done and I am very excited to tell you all my blood type is A+! Anyhow, on the day of the surgery mom drove me and I got registered and headed upstairs when the doctor performing the surgery pulled me aside into a consultation room. He said he had been mulling it over the night before and realised because I am a virgin and haven't had any children, there was a 25% chance he wouldn't be able to get the scope past my cervix. Then he said we could reschedule the operation till the next day and he'd prescribe me something to soften my cervix up. I was not thrilled. You could even say I was UN-thrilled. I was also very thirsty since I'd been fasting for 14 hours. But a 25% chance was too big for me to take so I said ok and got the prescription filled.

NEXT DAY: Fasting again and this time the surgery was the last of the day so I was awake and trying not to be nervous/grumpy while I got ready. I left this part out of the day before but both days I took a shower with one of those surgical scrub sponges that's loaded with antiseptic. Only my hair smelled nice, the rest of my smelled like surgical soap. Mom drove again but this time we had my niece Olivia with us since she was out of Kindergarten and her mom didn't get off of work until after my surgery started. Olivia was an angel and annoyingly EVERYONE thought she was mine. Every time someone asked and I had to say "No, she's my niece." the other person would say "Oh, well, you'll have beautiful babies just like her!" Which I am only admitting now, kind of stung since I was in to have that womanly capability destroyed.

So finally I got checked in, had my IV placed, was changed into my hospital gown (I looked like I was wearing a cotton yert) and little footie socks and got to stop off in outpatient, surgery prep and finally surgery. Mom got to stay with me until they took me into surgery. Once there I remember them asking me to scoot over to the operating table, which I did, then they put on the oxygen mask, put my arms out on the arm boards (You look very much like you are on a bit of a cross) and then the anesthesiologist said "You're going to feel a stinging burn." Which I did and then OUT.

I woke up squeaking, the oxygen mask was still on my face and I was very sleepy. the clock said 7:15pm. They wouldn't let me have water yet and I was bummed but too weak to argue. They asked if I was in pain and I nodded so I think they gave me something because the pain stopped very suddenly. Around 8pm they took the mask off and wheeled me to recovery or discharge, I am not sure what order they do this all in nowadays. Anyhow, I finally got some soda that I swear to all of you, tasted like fizzy gummy bears. It was amazing. The nurse gave me a percocet and I got to see my mom. I was very happy to see mom and she chatted with me while the fog cleared.

The thing I remember the most is how much my throat hurt and how shaky I felt. The pain in my throat was from being intubated and I still have a bruise under my chin. It was really purple the first 3 days after wards and the pain right where they scoped me stuck around for 4 days. I noticed it when I yawned or swallowed. When they discharged me officially they took me down to the car in this nifty new wheel chair they use for everyone. To be honest it looks like the design is more like the older Victorian ones but I digress. Daddy had brought around the car and handed me a stuffed tiger my sister had gotten me at the zoo. It was nice to hug something fuzzy in the car. We finally got home and I crawled into bed and slept for a day and a half. I am still recovering but I feel a lot better than I did for the few days right after.





Here is the TL;DR summary in case I lost any of you in that novel.



I had a surgery, I am ok now, I love you all! <3

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