What am I supposed to say?

This year has been a roller coaster ride of emotions, happenings, drama and family flim flam.

First off, I don't know if I should "theme" my blog and make it all about one thing, like so many people tend to, or just go wild and make my blog just any damn thought or issue that flits through my brain?

Yen, help me out here.

Also, I am tried of not putting myself first. On the one hand, that may sound selfish, on the other hand, it can't be, since I don't and haven't gone anywhere the last few years where I basically wallowed in the idea that I come last.

My disability claim was denied and it took a year to go through all the hoops and still get denied so there you go, it wasn't to be. Now on with life.

1. School: Do I go for my BA? If so in what? And where?

2. Art: What do I love the most? How do I promote and create? How do I make what I live for into a living?

3. Subsidy work: Well, I already know that doing menial jobs around the public are not viable. So what is? Where can I work where I can maintain my pride, sanity and a paycheck that's big enough to help be re-gain independence?

I ran out of ideas so I will update this later. Tomorrow I meet my new psychiatrist and hopefully I can discuss some of these issues.


What happens to a dream deferred?
Does it dry up
Like a raisin in the sun?
Or fester like a sore--
And then run?
Does it stink like rotten meat?
Or crust and sugar over--
like a syrupy sweet?
Maybe it just sags
like a heavy load.
Or does it explode?

Langston Hughes